lunedì, maggio 31, 2010


My dear, you don't give a damn
So when the time comes
And it will come,
Why should I?

domenica, maggio 30, 2010

As it should be

I want more
I deserve more
Not what you think you can give
But what you know I deserve
If you cannot or will not
I do not care
I only care that you are not giving it to me
So, come and go as you will
You still not getting what you want
Not until I get what I want

Isn't this the way things should be?

lunedì, maggio 24, 2010

Butter me up

There you are
Flying around me
Afraid to land
When you know you want to

Isn't it a bummer
When your own rules turn against you?
When the stillness of my body is still not enough
And when you thought I would have waved you away long time ago

And yet
Here you are still
Still flying around me

I cannot touch
You have to land
And you know you want to

Be a man
Stop trying to butter me up
Else fly for good!

All it takes

Some ice cream
Some like minded girlfriends
Good and bad memories
A lot of sex talk
And you're ready to walk


sabato, maggio 22, 2010

Specially common

Special moments with common people are still special.
Everything is as special as we want it to be
And as beauty is in the eyes of the beholder
So is wonder in the mind of the believer.

Just live it, enjoy it, cherish it
There will never be a feeling like it again
Special, yes, equal, never

Should I thank now or save it for later?

The most special, though,
Through all the lies and deceiving
Still no grudge or resentment.
That has to be an achievement.

Either I'm still in denial
Or you are truly one of the most special common people I've come across with.

venerdì, maggio 21, 2010

Just like that

And just like that, with a doubt, the answer has come.
If there is a God, It does not like to see me suffer.
And as I always say, I am God's favorite child.

What would you know, the Guru was right:
He did not really love me
He loved my body and money

I guess there are different ways of naming things like:
sex and status

Oh well, on to the next trap!

I do have to stop being the perfect prey, though.


Truth is that knowing things beforehand does not ease any pain.
If anything it makes you agonize until what you fear actually happens.
If you ask me, not knowing will make one utterly happier.
What good is it to know and suffer?
Let me be ignorant and actually believe there is hope...

Wait, with all I know I actually believe in hope!
Maybe I am ignorant after all, and I hadn't realized.

And suddenly I can smile :)

Ignorance is truly a bliss!


How does one stop caring?
How does one shed feelings?
How does one outlive eternity?
How does one keep from asking why? And why not? Or why me? And then, why again?
How does one go from loving to indifferent?
How does one just make it through the day?

So many years, and still haven't mastered the art.
Perhaps not crying is mastery enough?!

martedì, maggio 18, 2010


You are worth the world
But I can't touch you or you will die
And however much you think landing on me will bring happiness,
It is but an ephemeral one.
And so I have to let you fly
I could not stand to watch you wither away
My heart would break in far more pieces
I would be lonelier then
Than I am with you free!
Every wing flap of yours brings a smile to my face
I know you will always land on a flower next to me
That, and not my hand is the measure of our true happiness.

One life we'll both be butterflies.
We'll both land on the same flower.

Just today

Resist the obvious
Move forward, not backwards
The known seems comfortable,
But remember, there is a reason why it is in the past.

lunedì, maggio 17, 2010


I am fighting urges today.
One of it is to call you and say that I miss you.
I am back into that awkward position where I'm not sure how to behave,
Nor what to believe and trust.
And as the power drug is wearing out,
My confident strut out the door is halfway faltered
By my hopes that you will pull me back.

E como diz a Sara:
De repente sei que é isto que não quero
Olhar para ti e saber que ainda te espero

Damn this weak heart.

Still peace, but soiled by predictable, annoying, disturbing feelings.

I'm a survivor!

Being Bad at Relationships Is Good for Survival

JR Minkel
LiveScience Contributor

Feeling happy and secure in our relationships is a goal many people strive for, but in times of need the emotionally insecure partners may be doing us a favor by being more alert to possible danger.

Evolution may have shaped us to consist of groups of emotionally secure and insecure individuals, researchers write in the March issue of the journal Perspectives on Psychological Science.

When faced with threats to close personal relationships, people react in different ways according to their sense of whether the world is a secure place. The same reaction styles also cause people to be more or less attuned to dangers of all kinds.

Evolution would have favored a mix of these so-called attachment styles if mixed groups were more likely to survive than groups of only secure or only insecure individuals.

"Secure people have disadvantages," experimental psychologist Tsachi Ein-Dor of the New School of Psychology in Herzliya, Israel, told LiveScience. "They react slowly and then act slowly because they need to first get organized."

This notion would explain why almost half of all people in the world have insecure attachment styles, he said, despite the fact that people prefer secure types as romantic partners.

How we view the world

People who do well in relationships have what's called a secure attachment style. They tend to view the world as a safe place, and their optimism allows them to focus on tasks without being bogged down with negative thoughts. They seek out groups and work well in them.

In contrast are those who exhibit insecure attachment styles. Some people are anxious types, always clinging to their significant other, and others are aloof, or avoidant, preferring to deal with problems on their own instead of relying on their partners.

Attachment behavior is a survival adaptation, said Ein-Dor. Because infants can't survive on their own, they have to attach themselves to their parents. If an infant cries and is soothed by its parent, it learns that it can trust other people for love and support.

Those whose parents don't have time or energy to respond may learn they have to fend for themselves.

Such traits can take on different meanings in a group setting. When in immediate danger, people shouldn't necessarily take comfort in the sense of peace and safety a group can provide.

Benefits of being insecure

To test their idea that mixed groups would benefit survival, Ein-Dor and his colleagues put students in groups of threes alone in a room with a concealed smoke machine, which was switched on to simulate a fire. Groups were quicker to notice the smoke and to react to it if they contained individuals who scored high for insecure attachment.

Groups that had a member who rated high for the anxious attachment style tended to notice the smoke faster than other groups, and those that had a member rating high on attachment avoidance tended to react first, such as by leaving the room.

"This is the first [paper] I've read that has started to sway me toward the idea that insecure attachment styles are adaptations," said Paul Eastwick, a psychologist at Texas A&M University, who was not involved in the current study. "I have always favored more of a 'side effect' explanation."

mercoledì, maggio 05, 2010

At last

Peace at last. Even through doubt and insecurity, peace prevails.
Somehow the obscurity of the unknown is not enough to destroy this amazing feeling. I like it. I hope it lasts. If not, I would have enjoyed it tremendously anyway.