I stand corrected (by myself)

Once I told Paradise (yes, I still have him in my heart and memory - he did make me happy when I most needed it)... Anyways, I once told him that I did not deal well with being well treated. I stand corrected, I do not deal well with high expectations.

I find that people tend to exagerate on how good I am with whatever they view I am good at. That builds up expectation, and expectations are easy to shatter. No one is ever as good as one hopes them to be.

And hell it is a long que of people to be responsible for, at the end of the day, and an even longer que to have disabointed at the end of each hour...

In the end I am just like anybody else... plain, simple, common, uninteresting, and boring... the difference, I have better self-marketing skills. Don't ask me why, and sure as hell they have not been to my favour (in the end)... people want other plain, simple, common, uninteresting, and boring prople, with lesser self-marketing skills... they are probably truer people.

:P

I hate life, I hate being a woman, I hate being this woman, I hate the fact that I think therefore I am... I just hate everything, and no, love is never the answer... love is everything but the answer... love is just something between hating something and hating something else... and this is a worst hate, because it is not filled with rage... it just is... it is the paramout level, a cynical view of it all, the ultimate understanding that I will never have it my way, no matter how much (and probably and mostly because) I do it all my way.